He's Not My Brother!
by Neurotic-Idealist
Summary: Their parents are getting married, so they'll have to learn to like each other...
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, I always say it it would be fun if Miz and Evan were really stepbrothers, so here's my offering.**

**I'd like to dedicate this one to QueenofYourWorld. Her story inspired me to finish this one.**

**Enjoy!**

It was all coming together nicely. They were going to be a family. Well, that was the plan anyway. There were only two people happy with the situation, and that was the parents. Barbara and Joseph were blissfully happy together and ready to move in together now that they were engaged to be married.

They both thought that their boys would get on well, sharing some of the same interests. They both liked wrestling and rock music, so surely they'd get on fine. Now that they were going to be living together, they would see each other every day.

Barbara and Joseph had bought a small house nearby. It wasn't too expensive, as they wanted to save money for their wedding. Neither of the boys was present at the viewing, so the first time they would see it was when hey moved in. They had both forgotten to mention to their respective offspring that they would be sharing a room.

Mike was eager to sleep after his journey back from his dad's home and also hoped it would get him out of helping move boxes. He couldn't believe that his mother had chosen to remarry. Evan had started travelling up that morning and was pretty happy to be seeing his dad again. Barbara seemed like a nice enough woman and his dad deserved some happiness.

Mike arrived outside and paid the cab driver. It wasn't exactly stunning, but it was going to be home, at least until his wrestling career took off. He threw his bag over his shoulder and marched into the house. He stopped at the doorway and heard his mother giggling with Joseph. That would not be going on in this house. Mike cleared his throat and walked into the living area where they were.

"Hoorah!" he shouted.

"Mike!" his mother gasped and ran over to shower him with kisses and hugs.

"Welcome home son." Joseph smiled and held out his hand for him to shake.

"Thanks." Mike replied, reluctantly taking his hand.

"So, what do you think?" Barbara asked her son.

"It's nice. Cosy." Mike smiled, not wanting to hurt his mother's feelings.

"Oh Mike, I missed you!" his mother ambushed him with kisses again.

There was a knock on the door and Evan walked in. He smiled at the trio and walked over to hug his father. Mike hid his dislike for the guy. What a nerd, with his glasses and books that he read all the time. He thought he was a karate kid, but really he was just a nerd. Mike hoped that he didn't have to put up with him a lot.

"How are you?" Evan asked Barbara once he had hugged his father.

"I'm fine, thank you." She replied and smiled at him.

Evan turned to Mike and smiled.

"So, I guess we're going to be stepbrothers soon." He shrugged.

"Yeah, weird huh." Mike nodded and picked up his bag.

"Oh, of course, you'll both be tired from the journey." Barbara gasped.

"Shall we show them honey?" Joseph asked.

"Yes, what a good idea." She replied and took Mike's hand and led him upstairs.

The four of them were standing on the landing, when Joseph pushed open the bedroom door. It was a fair sized room with a navy carpet and cream coloured walls. There was a single bed at either side of the room and one window, which allowed some light into the room. There was one set of drawers and one wardrobe.

"So, surprise!" Joseph smiled.

"Um, what's the surprise?" Mike asked, unable to read the freaky mannerisms of his soon to be stepfather.

"Your room of course." Barbara told her son.

"And Evan's too." Joseph added.

Mike and Evan both took in the information and looked at each other. Neither one of the boys wanted to be anywhere near the other one. Mike was the first to protest, as per usual.

"I'm not sharing with him." He pointed to Evan.

"Mike, don't be selfish." His mother scolded him.

"I'm not. I don't mind sharing, just not with him." Mike replied.

"Dad, I'm not sure about this either." Evan told his father.

"Boys, we already bought the house, so just deal with it." Joseph shook his head.

"Jeez." Mike sighed.

"I guess I'll sleep here." Evan said, walking in and sitting on one of the beds.

"I wanted that one." Mike pouted.

"Have it then." Evan shrugged and sat on the other one instead.

Mike put his bag on the bed and looked around the room.

"Are you going to decorate?" he asked the parents.

"We thought that you guys could each have a side to decorate with posters and stuff." Barbara smiled enthusiastically.

"Great idea." Mike smiled and nodded.

"It will all be fine once we've settled in." Joseph smiled, putting his arm around Barbara's waist.

"I already put some of your clothes in the wardrobe." She nodded as Mike frowned.

He opened the wardrobe and saw that in between his designer shirts and jeans, was Evan's t-shirts and lumberjack shirts. At the bottom of the wardrobe his designer leather loafers were next to Evan's Converse.

"You mixed it all up." Mike pouted at his mother.

"It's fine. I wouldn't wear your clothes anyway." Evan shrugged at Mike.

"Yeah, you're way too short to fit into my clothes." Mike scoffed.

"I'm slimmer than you too." Evan replied to the insult.

"What? Are you calling me fat?" Mike gasped and pouted at his mother.

"You're not fat. You're just a little husky." She smiled at him.

Mike continued to pout and threw himself on the bed. Evan rolled his eyes and began to unpack his bag. The parents went downstairs to carry on unpacking. Mike looked up to see Evan reading a large novel.

"What's that, Lord Of The Rings?" Mike chuckled.

"No, I don't even like Lord Of The Rings." Evan retorted.

"You're so gay, I bet you wanna make out with Gandalf." Mike smirked from across the room.

"You're the one who knows his name." Evan shot back.

The squabbling died down eventually and both went on to do their own thing. It was an hour later when their parents called them down for dinner. Both sat opposite each other and ate quietly. They did make gagging noises when their parents started feeding each other pudding though. Seriously, nobody wants to see that.

"So, did you boys make up?" Barbara asked them

Mike and Evan looked at each other and nodded.

"Mike, I was emptying your laundry and I found this." His mother said, holding up a large book.

"Is that…?" Evan grinned as he made the realisation.

"It's my favourite one." Mike pouted.

"Is it any good, this Harry Potter?" asked Barbara, looking at the book.

Mike shot Evan a look and quickly made a plan.

"Truce?" he asked the brunette boy.

"Truce." Evan nodded, still smiling to himself.

**PLEASE REVIEW! XXX**

**I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Should I add more, or leave it as a one-shot? **


	2. Chapter 2

It was getting late, so Mike said goodnight to his mother and begrudgingly smiled at Joseph. Mike had a dad, and he most certainly was not a nerd. The only thing worse than a nerd, was a nerd who bred more nerds. Mike was surprised that Joseph managed to get laid to conceive Evan. He didn't want to acknowledge that his own mother was going to be sharing a bed with the man.

The Ohio native barged into the room, shocking Evan. The younger man happened to be getting changed for bed. Mike frowned and walked over to his bed. He smirked as he registered his soon to be stepbrother's blushing. Mike took off his t-shirt and lay back on his bed. Evan got changed and picked up a book, which he sat on his bed with. Mike sighed and got up and turned the light off.

"Hey, I am trying to read!" Evan yelled at him.

"Well tough, because I need complete darkness to sleep." Mike replied, climbing into bed.

"That's not fair. I didn't choose to room with you."

"No, but your nerdy dad was too cheap to buy a house with an extra room!"

"My dad works hard." Evan replied, frowning in the darkness.

"Anyway, the only reading material you need in bed is Playboy." Mike shook his head and covered himself with the bedding.

Evan rolled his eyes and got into his own bed. There was a moment's silence before Mike spoke.

"Don't wake me if I call your name. I'll only be murdering you in my dreams."

"Fine by me. It's better than you having sex dreams about me." Evan shot back.

"Dude, that is gross."

"You don't need to tell me that."

"Really? I'm not sure which side you play for." Mike said.

"I'm straight." Evan sighed.

"You just keep telling yourself that. Looking like you do, you probably got a better chance of hooking up with a guy than a hot chick."

"Because you're such a hit with the ladies?" asked Evan, smirking in the darkness.

"Uh, in case you didn't notice, I am a Chick Magnet!" Mike said, raising his voice to emphasise the fact.

"Are those the chicks that like fat dudes? Evan asked, stifling laughter.

"I am not, fat! I am not husky! I am a healthy weight for my height." Mike yelled.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs could be heard. Both Barbara and Joseph walked into the room.

"Boys, please be nice. Just go to sleep." Joseph pleaded.

"I know the situation will take some getting used to." Barbara smiled sympathetically.

"You can say that again." Evan nodded, while Mike sat in bed pouting.

"Good night boys." They both said as they left the room.

Mike and Evan settled back into their beds. Nothing else was said, until some odd noises could be heard.

"What the heck is that?" Mike mumbled, pulling his bedding closer.

He and Evan both settled down to sleep, as their respective parents were marking the occasion of their new home.

"Joey, the boys are in their room!" Barbara giggled.

"We just moved in. I think we need to christen our new room." Joseph replied.

"And the bed?" she replied.

"That can be first on our list." he winked at her.

"Oh, let's hope this bed has good springs." Barbara whispered.

Stifled giggles and a faint creaking could be heard through the walls.

Evan was next to mumble to himself. He sat up in his bed and frowned.

"Mike? Mike?" he whispered to the mound in the other bed.

He didn't reply, so Evan picked up Mike's discarded shoe from the floor and threw it at the mound.

"What the hell?" Mike groaned as he sat up.

"Mike, are you awake?" asked Evan.

"Yes, why are you trying to disturb my sleep?" Mike asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"What's that creaking?" Evan asked.

"Well it's not my bed, buckling under my husky weight!" Mike replied sarcastically.

"Shut up! Did you leave the bathroom fan on?" Evan asked.

"Yeah, but I do hear a humming sound." Mike frowned.

"Oh, that's good, keep doing that!" Barbara giggled from the next room.

The noises that were happening now, spoke for themselves.

"Gross! My mom is doing stuff with your nerdy dad!" Mike almost screamed, pulling his bed covers up.

"Shall we let them know we can hear them?" Evan whispered, his face paling.

"Well I for one, am not gonna sit here listening to my mother get it on with your dad." Mike pouted and went out of the bedroom.

Evan jumped out of his bed and followed.

"You go." Mike motioned to the door.

"No way." Evan hissed.

"It's your dad's fault." Mike pouted.

"How do you work that out?" Evan asked him.

"Because my mother wouldn't just get into bed with a nerd." Mike emphasised the last word.

"I'm going to bed." Evan announced, before knocking on the bedroom door and running back to bed.

Mike could not believe he just did that. There was a commotion inside the room, and Barbara finally answered the door in a white robe.

"Mike, what's wrong?" she asked as he continued to pout.

"Barbara, are you coming to bed?" Joseph called from the bedroom.

"Oh, my baby had a nightmare." she nodded and pulled him into a hug.

"I did have a nightmare." Mike nodded. In fact, it wasn't a nightmare. It was real.

He was going to get Evan back for this. Him and his nerdy dad. This living situation would never last.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for all of the reviews.**

**I'm glad you're all enjoying this one.**

**Chapter three commence...**

The soon to be stepbrothers had managed a half decent sleep in their shared room. The two said a polite good morning to each other before heading downstairs to the breakfast table. Barbara was making pancakes for the four of them. It was close to two minutes before Mike opened his mouth…

"Hey, these are blueberry pancakes." He pouted at the plate in front of him.

"Yes, they're Joseph's favourite." His mother replied.

"But I like butterscotch pancakes." Mike frowned.

Evan rolled his eyes. This didn't go unnoticed by his future stepbrother.

"I knew you'd find it funny. You guys getting your own way." He pouted angrily.

"You've been getting your own way since the day you were born." Evan replied.

"You can be a little selfish Mike." Joseph said, in between mouthfuls of pancake.

Mike put down his fork and looked at his mother across the table. He knew she couldn't ignore those big blue eyes for long. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Ok, here's the deal. Tomorrow we have butterscotch pancakes." She nodded.

Evan and Joseph nodded in agreement, before Mike shrugged and thought about it.

"Deal." He said.

The breakfast table returned to normal for about five minutes, before Evan spoke.

"I'm going for a shower." He said, standing up.

"Please tell me there's more than one shower." Mike mumbled through a mouthful of pancake.

"There's one in the bathroom and one in our en suite." Joseph replied.

"Oh no you didn't." Mike stood up with a look of disbelief.

"Here we go…" Evan sighed.

"You couldn't buy a house with an extra bedroom, but you have an en suite!" Mike boomed across at his mother and Joseph.

"Mike, calm down." His mother told him.

"Oh yeah, I'll calm down with a hot shower." He announced.

"That's fine dear." Barbara sighed at her son.

"Where's Evan?" Mike asked, frowning in confusion.

"I guess he went for his shower." Shrugged Joseph.

"In the bathroom?" Mike pouted.

"You can use the en suite." Joseph nodded.

"Gee, thanks." Mike replied sarcastically.

He was going to kill Evan for using the other shower. The Ohio native prayed that there had been nothing funny going on in the en suite shower. That was too sick, he tried to shake the thought out of his head.

After a shower that was tainted by paranoia over what had gone on in there previously, Mike went to his and Evan's room to get dressed. His soon to be stepbrother was already in there when he walked in. Evan couldn't suppress a grin when he saw Mike's almost disturbed expression.

"Oh, I'm glad you find it so funny." He snapped.

"Well I do." Evan replied.

"You are so showering in there tomorrow." Mike told Evan.

In all of his anger, he had not noticed that both of them wore only a towel around them. The Ohio native was struck by a problem.

"I need to get dressed." He stated.

"So do I." Evan replied.

"But…" Mike started.

"Not shy are you?" Evan grinned.

"As if. I have been naked many times. Just never with another guy." He shrugged uncomfortable.

"What's up? Maybe you're afraid I might not be as small as I appear." Evan suggested.

"Um, that is the sickest thing ever. As if I would even look." Mike frowned.

"You think I wanna see you naked?" Evan asked him.

"Maybe I'm a turn on for gay nerds." Mike shrugged in annoyance.

"I'm not gay. And I think you're as much of a nerd as me." Evan shot back.

"Mike Mizanin and nerd, do not go in the same sentence." he hissed.

"Really? Does Mike Mizanin go in the same sentence as husky?" the younger man fought back laughter.

"No it does not! Actually, I thought of a sentence where Mike Mizanin goes with nerd." Mike replied.

"Mm, is it Mike Mizanin is a closet nerd?" Evan asked, his dimples visible as he smiled.

"No, It's Mike Mizanin beats up a nerd every day." he replied.

"Do you?" Evan asked him.

"Yes, and today's your lucky day." Mike smirked.

"Look, why don't we just turn away from each other?" asked Evan.

"I guess our clothes are all in here." Mike sighed, pointing to the wardrobe.

"Great." Evan nodded and threw off his towel before Mike had a chance to do anything.

"Jeez, dude. I wasn't ready." Mike hissed as he covered his eyes.

"Just get dressed Mike." He replied.

They both got dressed in silence.

"Oh my God!" screamed Mike suddenly.

"What are you..." Evan's mouth hung open.

"Our clothes got mixed up." the Ohio native pouted.

"Did you guys hear a woman scream?" Barbara asked, as she and Joseph barged in.

"That was Mike." Evan informed them.

"Oh, what are you wearing?" Barbara asked her son.

"I thought it was mine." Mike explained.

"Now my t-shirt's gonna be all stretched." Evan mused.

"Was that a fat jibe?" Mike asked.

"We'll leave you to get dressed..." their parents said, closing the door behind them.

"Of course not." Evan grinned, pulling up some jeans.

"Hey, those are mine!" Mike pointed to the denims.

"Yeah, they won't stay up." Evan replied as the jeans fell to the floor.

"Oh my God! You're not wearing any underwear." Mike gasped.

"I only had them on for a second." he shrugged.

"You have infected my clothes with nerd!" Mike pouted angrily.

"What are you gonna do?" sighed the younger man.

"Beat up my nerd for the day. Once he puts some underwear on..." Mike frowned.

**Had fun writing this. Mike and Evan in towels...bliss.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! XXX**

**How do you like it so far?**


	4. Chapter 4

Mike was sitting on the couch watching TV. When his mother came in from buying groceries. He looked up from the screen and eyed the bags that she was carrying. Evan walked in suddenly and ran over to her.

"Oh, let me help you with those. They look heavy." He said.

"So, what makes you think you can lift them?" Mike sniggered from the couch.

"Mike, please don't make fun of him." Barbara told her son.

"I wasn't. I was just stating the fact that he is…petite." He replied.

"Petite is what you would say about a woman." His mother replied.

"Ok, then Evan's a woman." Mike said.

"I am not." Evan frowned as he helped Barbara with the bags of groceries.

"Maybe you should be more like Evan." She told him.

"Ok mother." Mike replied in a deliberately high voice.

He turned back to the TV and became engrossed in some random TV show. He had no idea what was going on, but there was a lot of chicks in bikini's so he was happy. He frowned when Joseph came and sat beside him. There were other seats, but he just had to take a seat next to Mike.

"What are you watching?" Joseph asked him.

"I have no idea." Mike replied.

"Do you mind if I watch something?" Joseph asked.

"Knock yourself out." Mike nodded.

His future stepfather proceeded to skip channels, until he came to some kind of nature documentary. Mike raised his eyebrows in disbelief. If he wanted to watch sports, he might not have minded, but nature documentaries?

"Mike, I got you something." His mother smiled as she handed him a bag.

"Wow, that's actually quite cool." He replied as he pulled out a t-shirt.

"I'm glad you think so." Barbara smiled at her son.

"Thanks mom." He said.

"Great, I got Evan one too." She replied as Evan walked in with his t-shirt.

"What?" Mike jumped out of his seat and frowned.

"I treat both of you as my sons." His mother shrugged.

"We are gonna look like freakin' twins!" Mike yelled across the room.

"No we're not." Evan said.

"Exactly, cause I am not wearing it if he is." Mike replied.

"They're both different sizes." Evan grinned.

"That was a fat insinuation!" the elder one pouted angrily.

Barbara shook her head and walked into the kitchen. Joseph continued to watch what appeared to be something about dominance in wolf packs. Mike frowned, hoping that this nerd didn't think he was going to be the pack leader in this house. Nature documentaries were just as bad as comic books. Nerds!

"What's for dinner mom?" Evan asked Barbara.

"Lasagne with pie for afters." She answered.

Mike listened intently. Not only had she ignored his dietary preferences after the whole pancake incident, but also she just accepted the nerd calling her "mom". Both of them looked up as Mike entered the kitchen.

"Since when does he call you "mom"?" he demanded.

"Well it makes sense. Once me and Joseph are married, he'll be my son too." Barbara replied.

"But I'm your son! I'm the one you actually gave birth to!" Mike stood with his mouth open in shock.

"I'll always be your mommy!" she cooed and pulled him into a hug.

"Why do we have to have lasagne?" Mike asked as his mother stroked his hair.

"Because it's Joseph and Evan's favourite." She replied.

"What about the pie?" he asked his mother.

"Cinnamon apple." Barbara smiled.

"My favourite pie!" Mike grinned happily.

"Best not have any cream though…" Evan mumbled so that Mike only just caught it.

"A little cream will not make me fat!" he hissed back at his future stepbrother.

"No, cause you already are." Evan replied, before running out of the room.

"I swear Evan, you are dead!" Mike frowned angrily.

It was soon time for dinner. Mike sat opposite Evan and beside his mother. She had served the lasagne, which was delicious, not that Mike would admit that now though. He had a sneaking suspicion that his mother and Joseph were playing footsie underneath the table, which made him a little bit sick. Evan had not said anything to him in the past half hour, which made Mike nervous in a strange way.

"Ok, did everybody enjoy their lasagne?" Barbara asked them.

"It was absolutely beautiful, just like you." Joseph grinned at her. Mike was sure that he actually did vomit a little in his mouth at that point.

"It tasted great." nodded Evan, as he helped clear the plates away.

"It wasn't that bad." Mike lied.

Evan frowned at him, as if he was suspicious of the Ohio native's motives.

"Here's the pie and the cream." Barbara smiled as she placed the dishes down on the table.

Mike offered to cut everyone a slice. Of course he had a motive.  
His mother and him got a normal sized slice each. Joseph got a bigger slice, in the hope that it made him too bloated to consider violating Mike's mother again tonight. Evan got a bigger slice and immediately questioned it.

"How come you gave me a big slice?" he frowned at Mike.

"I'm trying to build you up." Mike replied seriously.

"Are you trying to make me like you?" Evan gasped.

"Do you mean fat?" Mike shook his head and piled some cream on his slice of pie.

"No I meant husky." Evan grinned.

"I may be husky, but you're a petite nerd who is a gay virgin and not at all related to me!" Mike yelled.

The other three watched as he stormed out of the kitchen.

"I forgot my pie." he mumbled as he walked back in and picked up his dish.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for reading and reviewing the last chapter.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. I thought it would be interesting...**

Mike had an important announcement for the "family".

"My friend John is coming to stay." He told them.

"Where is he going to sleep?" asked Evan suspiciously.

"In our room." Mike replied.

"But, there's only two beds, mine and yours." Evan pointed out.

"Well done nerd. That means that John will be sleeping in your bed." The Ohio native replied.

"What? He's your friend. He should sleep in your bed!" Evan protested.

"It's ok, he's not fat." Mike told his soon to be stepbrother.

"Oh, I'm so relieved!" Evan replied sarcastically.

"Mom, I hope you have some peanut butter." Mike turned to his mother.

"Yes, I do." She replied.

"What for?" Evan frowned.

"He loves the stuff. The girls get hungry for peanut butter and Johnny." Mike replied.

"Really?" Evan raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. He is straight, unfortunately for you." The Ohio native shrugged.

"I am not gay!" Evan pouted a little.

"Who isn't gay?" Joseph asked as he came in from work.

"Your son." Mike replied.

"I'd better start preparing dinner for five." Barbara shook her head and sighed.

"Five?" Joseph frowned in confusion.

"Mike and his friend are having a slumber party." Evan explained.

"Dude, girls have slumber parties. My friend is just crashing here." Mike told him.

"My mistake." Evan shrugged.

Around an hour later, the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of John. Mike opened the door and greeted his friend with a hug and a cry of "Be Jealous!" which made Evan shake his head in disbelief.

"This is my mom." Mike introduced his friend to the family.

"She's hot." John grinned and kissed her hand.

"What a charming young man." Barbara giggled.

"And this is my mom's friend Joseph." Mike grimaced slightly.

"Fiancé actually." The man in question replied.

"Dude, your mom is engaged to a..." John began, before Evan cut in.

"Nerd?" he asked.

"How nice of you to introduce yourself." Mike grinned.

"No, my name is Evan." he told John.

"Dude, you're mom is marrying into a family of nerds." John said seriously.

"I know. It's such a tragedy." Mike shook his head.

"Is there any vegetable you don't like?" Barbara asked John.

"I love them all. They keep my abs looking like this..." he lifted his shirt to reveal a defined six pack.

"Impressive." Barbara nodded and blushed a little.

"Quick put it away, I think Evan is getting turned on." Mike whispered to his friend.

The five of them sat down for dinner.  
John was the first to speak.

"I must say, this food is delicious." he smiled at Barbara.

"Thank you John." she replied.

"Please, call me JoMo." he told her.

"Ok then, JoMo." Barbara nodded.

"So, we were thinking of booking the wedding for six weeks' time." Joseph said.

"Six weeks?" Mike spluttered as most of his food flew at Evan.

"Gross!" Evan frowned as he wiped his face.

"We have the money all saved up. At our age, why do we need to wait?" Barbara shrugged.

"But, it's so sudden." Mike said.

"Not really. We've been together for a while now." Joseph replied.

"And you two boys will look so handsome in your suits." Barbara smiled at Mike and Evan.

"Suits? What next, you wearing white?" Mike exclaimed.

"Actually, yes." Barbara replied.

"I can't believe this!" Mike pouted and pushed his plate away.

"Oh Mike, baby." his mother cooed over him as he continued to pout.

Later on, Mike and John were in Mike and Evan's room.  
They were listening to the radio when Evan walked in.

"Hey bro!" John grinned.

"This song rules!" Mike started to do a little dance.

"Watch this." John said, before starting to breakdance on the floor.

"Impressive." Evan nodded.

"Yeah, as if you could do something like that." Mike smirked at Evan.

"Oh yeah?" Evan asked.

He stood in the middle of the room and did a somersault right there.

"Betcha, you can't do that." Evan grinned at his future stepbrother.

"Oh really, really?" Mike said and marched over to where Evan stood.

He attempted to emulate what Evan had just done. He didn't quite manage to finish the move.  
Evan frowned as his future stepbrother ended up lying on the floor, his face reddened.

"Dude, the nerd can..." John started to speak.

"Shut up John." Mike groaned as he lay on the floor.

Evan helped John to pull Mike back up.

"Not as easy as it looks?" Evan asked, trying to keep from laughing.

"Nerd!" Mike jumped onto Evan and rolled over on the floor.

"Dude, what are you doing?" John asked his friend.

"I'm gonna beat this nerd for infecting my family with nerd!" Mike hissed.

"Oh yeah, give it to me." Evan smirked in his best sexy voice.

"Shut up, you won't distract me from kicking your ass." Mike frowned at him.

"Um, is something poking you?" Evan asked him.

"Jeez, that is disgusting. I turn you on! You gay nerdy nerd!" Mike frowned and pouted.

"Relax, it was only my memory stick!" Evan laughed, pulling the computer part out of his pocket.

Downstairs, Joseph and Barbara were sitting watching TV. There was an almighty thud from upstairs.

"Shall I see what that was?" Joseph asked.

"No, I bet it's just the boys having fun." she replied.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's taken me a while to update this one.**  
**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last time. **

"Why do I have to do this?" Mike pouted.

"You need to be measured for your suit." His mother replied.

"Yeah, shipping all that material could take a while." Evan grinned.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that comment." Mike replied.

"This will be great." Joseph grinned as he kissed his fiancée on the cheek.

"The boys will look so handsome, I bet." Barbara nodded.

"Are we taking the car?" Evan asked his father.

"We better be. I don't want to be seen with you two nerds." Mike pointed at the father and son.

"Mike, please be nice." Barbara raised an eyebrow at her son.

"I guess." He nodded slowly.

The trio hopped into the car. Mike sat in the back and tried to disguise himself with a hat and scarf. Evan sat beside his father in the front passenger seat.

"We won't be too long." Joseph told his fiancé.

"Good, see you guys later." She grinned and waved them out of the driveway.

"Hey Evan, remember the tailor will measure your inside leg. He won't be coming onto you." Mike grinned.

"Great, wouldn't want you to get all jealous now." Evan replied smugly.

"As if I would be jealous. You're a nerd." Mike shook his head and folded his arms.

"So are you. Don't try to deny it." Evan replied from the front.

"Calm down. How about some music?" Joseph suggested and turned on the radio.

"Oh please!" Mike sighed as some country music played.

"What's wrong? Don't you like country?" Joseph asked his future stepson.

"That whole genre of music should be banned." The Ohio native pouted angrily.

"Somebody has PMS!" Evan sighed.

"I know you don't get near women often, but they are the only ones that get PMS." Mike informed him.

"I guess so. Although a scientific study at…" Evan began.

"Scientific study? Nerd!" Mike chuckled to himself.

Evan shook his head. Mike went back to disguising himself from anybody who might look at the car and see him in the company of a couple of nerds.

At the tailor's store, the assistant was an old Italian guy. He was probably in the Mafia, thought Mike. His store was small and tucked away from the shopping centres. Apparently Joseph had been coming here for suits since before Evan was born. Maybe it was a suit that got him laid to create Evan.

"You first." The Italian man pointed at Mike.

"Ok." Mike walked over and allowed the man to measure him for his suit.

"Now you." The man motioned for Evan to come up.

The man measured Evan too. He finished by measuring Joseph for his suit and went to write down his measurements. When he returned he told them that they could try on some suits to see what styles they liked.

"You look like a giant penguin." Evan told Mike in his tuxedo.

"You look like a gay nerdy virgin penguin." Mike retaliated.

"I think that you both look very handsome." Joseph told them.

"Dude, your dad's gay." Mike frowned.

"How can he be gay? He's marrying your mom." Evan whispered to his future stepbrother.

"Planning to marry her. I'm not convinced that it will happen." Mike pointed out.

"Denial." Evan sighed.

"I am not in denial. I'm being realistic." Mike told him.

"Ok, you can get changed now." Joseph told them as he decided on suits with the old Italian guy.

Mike and Evan went back to the changing booths and took off their suits. They brought them back to the man and he hung them up behind the counter. Mike frowned as Joseph started humming along to some ancient jazz song on the radio.

"These are your sons, yes?" the Italian man asked Joseph.

"Yes, this is Evan and Mike." her replied.

"OMG. you just called me your son!" Mike gasped at Joseph.

"You will be in a few more weeks." he replied.

"You won't replace my father. He's a proper man. He's not a nerd and he's not gay." Mike pouted angrily.

"He cheated on your mom." Evan piped up.

"With a woman!" Mike replied.

"At least your dad's still alive." Evan frowned.

"Is that supposed to make me feel bad? Your mom died." Mike shrugged.

"You know, that's really unkind." Evan told him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry...not! It's great for your mom. Wherever she is, she doesn't have to sleep with your nerdy father any more." Mike replied.

"No, that's your mom's job now. Keeping my dad happy in bed." Evan grinned.

"Dude, don't be disgusting." Mike shook his head.

"Every time you hear the bed springs squeaking..." Evan taunted his future stepbrother.

"La la, I'm not listening." Mike walked off with his fingers in his ears.

Mike was even more disappointed on the journey home. The radio station was playing "Groovy 70s Sounds" and he was close to breaking point.

"Cheer up son." Joseph said over his shoulder.

"I am not your son." Mike mumbled.

"That's ok. I'm here if you need to talk, man to man." Joseph told him.

"Gee, thanks." Mike replied sarcastically.

_"And now, here's a classic. It's ABBA with Dancing Queen!" the disc jockey announced._

Mike began to absently hum along to the song and soon he was singing the chorus.

"You can dance, you can jive..." Mike bobbed his head a little.

"Are you singing Dancing Queen?" Evan grinned from the front passenger seat.

"No. That's gay." Mike pouted and kept his mouth shut for the remainder of the journey.

**How was that? Good I hope.**

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	7. Chapter 7

**I know it's been a while, but here's another chapter.**

**Thanks to those who have been reading and reviewing.**

**I hope the chapter is enjoyable...**

Since they were new to the area, Barbara and Joseph decided to throw a housewarming party. A few people from the neighbourhood shouldn't be too much of a problem, thought Barbara. Evan and Mike actually took to the idea quite well. They were both eager for some fresh company that wasn't their parents.

"Where do you want the salad?" Joseph asked his fiancé as they set up.

"Wherever Mike's sitting." Evan piped up.

"I won't be sitting anywhere. I'll be up dancing with the hot chicks." Mike replied.

"Hot chicks? Like the one next door with a walking stick and ten cats?" Evan joked.

"No, girls. Don't worry, I'll tell them you don't swing that way." Mike told Evan.

"Mike, what are you dancing to anyway?" Evan frowned.

"Oh, I got that covered." Joseph replied as he pointed to a box of CDs.

Evan and Mike walked over and picked up a couple of CDs. A smile played on the lips of Evan as Mike let out a disgruntled noise and threw the CD back in the box. He folded his arms and turned to look at his future stepfather.

"It's a party, not a funeral." Mike pouted.

"Everybody loves a bit of rock n' roll." Joseph shrugged.

"Yeah, you can jive with the cat lady." Evan grinned.

"You're not funny Evan." Mike pouted.

"I never said I was." Evan replied.

The doorbell ringing interrupted the commotion. Barbara ran into the hall to answer the door. She plastered on a smile as she opened the door to their new neighbours. First to arrive was a family from the end of the road. The woman extended her hand to Barbara in a greeting.

"Hi neighbour! I'm Annie." The woman smiled.

"I'm Barbara, this is my fiancée Joseph. These are our sons Mike and Evan." Barbara replied.

"This is my husband John and our kids, Jamie, Ella and Scott." The woman continued.

"Dude, she's hot." Mike told Evan and pointed towards Ella.

"She's not interested." Evan shook his head.

"Just wait and see…" Mike smirked.

Evan rolled his eyes and went to help with the rest of the food. Mike walked right up to Ella and gave her a wink. She was tall with dark blonde hair that was loose down her back. She had blue eyes and wore a pale yellow summer dress with white sandals.

"Hi, I'm Mike."

"Ella." She replied and walked past him.

"Playing hard to get." Mike frowned.

There was no problem though, as a new batch of guests had arrived with a particularly attractive brunette. She was more Mike's type anyway. He was heading over to her when a pair of hands dragged him away. It was the cat lady…

"Aren't you a handsome young man." She smiled and pinched his cheek.

"If you say so." He nodded and tried to pull away.

"Dance with me? I love rock n' roll." She looked hopeful.

"Sure." Mike nodded and slowly led the cat lady around the floor.

He ignored the cute smile that his mother gave him and the grin that Evan gave him. As they broke away the old cat lady kissed Mike's cheek and thanked him for her dance. He smiled and turned to find the hot brunette. She was already heading towards him, so he didn't have far to go. She smiled at him.

"That was so nice of you." She nodded towards the old lady.

"Well, I'm just that kind of guy." Mike shrugged.

"Yeah, I heard." The brunette giggled a little.

What had his mother been saying now? He smiled and introduced himself.

"I'm Mike." He grinned.

"Amy." She introduced herself as he kissed her hand.

"Nice to meet you." He replied and smiled.

After they had gotten a drink and some food, the pair sat on the stairs to talk.

"You must be so excited for your mom's wedding." Amy said.

"Not really." Mike shrugged. That was an understatement.

"I thought you guys loved weddings." The brunette shrugged a little.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mike frowned confusedly.

"Gays." Amy replied.

"I'm not gay!" gasped Mike.

"But…" she looked confused.

"What gave you that idea?" he asked her.

"Your boyfriend." Amy told him.

"Boyfriend?" Mike frowned.

"Yeah, short with brown hair and brown eyes." She replied.

"Evan!" Mike stood up and scanned the crowd for his future stepbrother.

He walked over to his mother to ask her where Evan was. She was currently busy grinding up to Joseph, which was frankly quite sickening. He must talk to her about these public displays. It certainly wasn't acceptable, especially at their age.

"Have you seen Evan?" Mike asked his mother.

"I haven't. Maybe he's in your room." Barbara replied to her son.

Mike ran up the stairs, back past Amy and barged into the room that he shared with Evan. His future stepbrother was standing in the middle of the room topless. He looked to be changing his shirt. He gave a curious look to Mike, before registering the look in his blue eyes.

"You have some explaining to do." He pointed at his future stepbrother.

"What have I done?" shrugged Evan.

"You told a girl that I was gay!" Mike replied angrily.

"Oh, that." Evan nodded.

"Plus, you told her that you were my boyfriend!" Mike continued.

"I thought you were going to take advantage of her." Evan defended his actions.

"Yeah, before she thought I liked guys…" Mike replied.

"Don't you?" Evan asked, obviously revelling in Mike's frustrated state.

"No!" he replied.

"My bad…" Evan shrugged.

Mike charged towards Evan and grabbed him by the shoulders. He was going to beat his future stepbrother right now. Evan's eyes widened as he realised how annoyed Mike was. He pinned Evan down to the bed and drew back his arm to punch him. Both of them started to struggle on the bed.

"Mike…?" Amy walked in and witnessed the scene.

Mike and Evan were both on the bed, with Evan still topless. Their faces were close together and their arms clung to each other as they'd tried to pin one another down. Evan grinned and looked at Mike, who realised what Amy must be thinking.

"Sorry for the interruption. You guys make a cute couple." She told them before walking out of the room.

"It's not what it looks like!" Mike yelled after her.

"In that case, can you let me go?" Evan asked hopefully.

"After what you've done…" Mike shook his head.

"Cat lady doesn't think you're gay…" Evan shrugged.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Here's an update of He's Not My Brother!**  
**I am sorry for the long wait. I will go back to regular updates for this one.**

**I do not own anybody.**

**I would like to thank Diagura for the help and advice that helped get this chapter going. Thanks.**

**It's a little short, but I hope you like it...**

Mike looked across the table with an expression of disgust. His mother had just given him some unpleasant news. His blue eyes narrowed as he took in the information that he had just received. Evan sat beside his future stepbrother, slowly eating his breakfast cereal and darting his brown eyes from Mike to Barbara and back again.

"I'm sorry. Why was I not consulted?" Mike asked his mother.

"It's only fair. You had John over." Barbara replied.

"John is not a nerd." Mike pointed out.

"Why would my friends be nerds?" Evan frowned.

"Um, maybe because they're friends with you…" Mike stared at his future stepbrother.

"Mike, don't be rude." Barbara warned her son.

"I was pointing out the truth." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, Evan's having a friend over and that's final." She replied, taking some dishes over to the sink.

"I am not sharing my room with them." Mike pouted.

"Fine. You can sleep on the couch." Barbara sighed.

"That couch?" Mike asked, gesturing to the old brown pile of foam.

"That is the only couch we have." Evan replied sarcastically.

"But it's old and uncomfortable." Mike frowned.

"Well, then you'll have to share your room." Barbara told her son.

"Nerds…" he muttered under his breath.

That afternoon, Mike was watching TV when the doorbell rang. He stayed in front of the screen and listened as his mother answered the door to Evan's guest. His blue eyes glanced over to the doorway, as a figure stood there. He was around Evan's age with shaved hair and green coloured eyes. He wore jeans with a pink and black t-shirt. He must be Evan's boyfriend. What straight guy would wear pink? Mike frowned a little.

"Hi, you must be Evan's bro." The young man nodded.

"Actually, we're not even related." Mike pointed out.

"I'm Tyson." The young man nodded.

"Whatever." Mike shrugged as he got back to the TV.

Mike frowned an hour later as he returned to his room. Evan and Tyson were laughing and joking with each other as they sat on the floor. Mike rolled his eyes and went to sit down on his bed. Two younger guys looked at him and went back to what they were doing.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." Mike snickered.

"We're friends. Just chilling out." Tyson shrugged.

"Yeah, he has a girlfriend." Evan gestured to his friend.

"Really? What's her name?" Mike asked.

"Natalya." Tyson replied.

"Yeah?" Mike raised his brow slightly.

"So, when do your parents get married?" Tyson asked.

"The wedding's booked for four weeks time." Evan replied.

"Yeah. I can't believe we have to wear suits. They're treating it like a real wedding." Mike pouted a little.

"It is a real wedding." Evan replied.

"It's gonna be a waste of time." Mike told him.

"They are getting married in a month." Evan tried to get through to his future stepbrother.

"It might not happen." Mike shrugged.

"You're in denial." Evan shook his head.

"So are you." Mike replied.

"I'm not against the marriage." Evan shrugged.

"I meant that you were in denial about being gay." Mike retorted.

"Tyson, will you tell him I'm not gay?" Evan turned to his friend.

"Mike, your bro has made out with lots of girls." Tyson told the older male.

"Firstly, I am not his bro and secondly, do these girls have names?" Mike's face twisted into a curious expression.

"Gail, Kelly, Tiffany…" Tyson rhymed off a few.

"Really? I still find it hard to believe." Mike smirked.

"And when did you last have a girlfriend?" Evan asked his future stepbrother.

"Not long ago. I would have one right now if it wasn't for you." Mike replied.

"Really?" Evan asked in a mocking voice.

"Yeah, for some reason you're driving all the chicks away." Mike told him.

"I thought you were a chick magnet." Evan smirked.

"Well apparently some nerd is already affecting my chances." the older guy frowned.

It was time to go to bed. Mike was lying on his bed while Tyson and Evan made up a spare sleeping area on the floor. Tyson was sleeping in Evan's bed, so Evan would be sleeping on the floor. It should be comfortable enough, Mike thought, due to the amount of pillows and blankets down there. Tyson slipped into Evan's bed and rolled onto his side.

"Night Evan." He mumbled.

"Night Evan!" Mike repeated in a high-pitched voice.

"Shut up Mike. Night Tyson." Evan said.

"Hey, don't think you can try and get into bed with me either!" Mike told them.

"I told you. I'm not gay and Tyson has a girlfriend!" Evan told him once more.

"So…is Natalya hot?" Mike asked.

"Mike, go to sleep." Evan sighed.

"I was just asking. I might steal her for myself." He chuckled.

"You'll have to get through DH first." Tyson told him.

"Who's DH?" Mike frowned.

"Her cousin. He's huge and he'd beat you." Evan replied.

"Really? I think I could handle him." Mike scoffed.

"You're crazy." Tyson shook his head.

"You're gay." Mike replied.

"You're in denial." Evan added.

"We've been through this. I am not a nerd or a virgin, nor am I husky." Mike frowned.

"Neither am I." Evan frowned.

"Whatever." Mike sighed and rolled over.

"Hey Tyson. Don't worry about the creaking. It's Mike's bed trying to hold his weight." Evan giggled.

"Is that what it is?" Tyson asked in mock surprise.

"Why don't you just take a hike?" Mike pouted.

"Better if you did. You might lose some weight." Evan replied.

"Gee, and you guys are gonna be brothers in a month." Tyson shook his head.

**What do you think?**

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**Not long to go until the wedding. Will it go ahead?**

**If you have any suggestions then please review or PM me. Thanks. x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's a new chapter of He's Not My Brother!**  
**Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing.**

**I do not own anybody.**

**The wedding is coming soon, but first... **

Mike arrived home to find his mother hurriedly tidying the house. She uttered a quick greeting to her son before she fluffed the cushions and put some magazines and papers into a neat pile. He shrugged and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a can of soda from the refrigerator and walking back into the living area. His mother was dusting everything in sight, including the TV remote.

"Why are you cleaning the house like a crazy person?" Mike asked her.

"We have company for dinner." His mother replied.

"Who is it this time?" Mike groaned.

"Evan's girlfriend." Barbara replied.

Mike almost spat his soda all over the newly tidied room.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Mike asked, sure that he must have heard her wrong.

"I said, Evan's girlfriend is coming over for dinner." Barbara stated.

"Are you sure it's a girl?" Mike asked his mother.

"Please, don't embarrass him in front of her." She warned her son.

Just at that moment a happy looking Evan walked into the room.

"Hey Evan, you playboy." Mike grinned.

"Mike, you better not try anything." Evan frowned.

"Me? If she's dating you then she won't be that hot." Mike replied.

"Hey, at least I have a girlfriend." Evan smirked.

"I would too if it wasn't for these freaky living conditions." Mike protested.

"Mike, I have told you to stop going on about it. Evan doesn't complain." Barbara told her son.

"Yeah, that's cause he enjoys sharing a room. He gets to see my hot body every day." Mike replied.

"Mike!" his mother growled and gave him an unimpressed look.

"Just ignore him." Evan shrugged.

The three of them froze to the spot as the doorbell rang.

"Oh no, she's early!" Barbara fretted with her duster in her hand.

"I'll get it." Evan nodded.

"Mike, help me!" Barbara told her son as she hurriedly threw things into a cupboard.

"False alarm. It's only me." Joseph said as he walked into the room.

"Why did you ring the bell? You live here. You have a key." Mike frowned.

"Forgot it." Joseph admitted.

"Never scare me like that again!" Barbara told her fiancée.

"I won't." he replied and pulled her into a kiss.

"I think I'm gonna hurl." Mike groaned.

An hour later the doorbell rang again. This time Evan opened it and greeted his girlfriend. Mike and their parents were in the kitchen awaiting their introductions. Evan walked into the kitchen followed closely by a petite redhead. She was wearing jeans that emphasised her skinny legs as well as a leopard print hooded top. Her hair was vibrant and fell down her back in curls.

"Everyone, this is Maria." Evan introduced her.

"Hi, nice to meet you." The redhead smiled.

"So you're Maria? Is that Italian?" Joseph asked her.

"Actually I'm Greek." Maria replied.

"She is a pretty one Evan. You must have charmed her." Barbara smiled.

"He's so sweet. You did a good job bringing up your son." Maria told Joseph.

"That means a lot. Thank you." Evan's father smiled.

"I haven't seen you around." Mike told the redhead.

"I don't hang out much." She admitted.

"Nerd." Mike said before he could stop himself.

"Excuse me?" Maria frowned.

"Mike!" Barbara sighed.

"So, what do you do if you don't hang out?" Mike asked, trying to divert the attention away from him.

"I stay in my room and make stuff. I make lots of my own clothes. I'd like to be a fashion designer." The redhead replied proudly.

"That's great." Joseph nodded.

"She's so talented." Evan beamed proudly at his girlfriend.

"What other talents does she have?" Mike smirked at his future stepbrother.

Evan grabbed Mike's arm and marched him into a far corner of the room.

"Are you having dirty thoughts about my girlfriend?" he demanded to know.

"Maybe. It's not a crime." Mike smirked.

"She's my girlfriend. You don't go after your bro's girl." Evan frowned.

"We are not bro's in any sense." Mike informed him.

"You still don't do it." Evan folded his arms across his chest.

"Fine, I won't touch your girlfriend." Mike sighed.

"Cause if you do, I'll hurt you." Evan warned.

"Oh man, I think I just crapped myself. Not." Mike rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious." Evan said.

"Evan, can we go to your room?" Maria asked him.

"Technically it's our room " Mike replied.

"Mike, don't get like that." Barbara warned her son as he began to show some cockiness.

After an hour, Mike's curiosity got the better of him and he crept up the stairs to the room he shared with Evan. He pressed his ear against the door to see whether he could hear anything. He could only hear the couple talking and laughing. Now Mike was ready to have some fun. He crept back downstairs and walked up to his mother.

"Anything I can do to help out?" he asked her.

"Mike, have you hurt your head?" his mother fretted.

"No, I just want to apologise for acting like a jerk." He replied.

"Um, how about taking your laundry to your room?" she suggested.

"Sure, I can do that." He nodded and took the laundry basket up the stairs.

Once he reached the door of his room her walked right in. Evan gave a frown but Mike held the laundry basket and shrugged. He placed it on his bed, beginning to lift the laundry out and put it away in the wardrobe.

"Hey Evan, where shall I put your underwear?" Mike asked loudly.

"It goes in the top drawer." Evan replied in an annoyed manner.

"Cool. Oh, and mum wants to know which subscription you wanted to cancel." Mike grinned.

"I don't have any subscriptions." Evan frowned.

"Sure you do. You have Model Aircraft, Hot Nerds…" Mike smirked.

"I warned you!" Evan yelled at his future stepbrother.

"Oh, what do we have here?" Mike gasped and pulled a box of condoms from Evan's underwear drawer.

"So, he has condoms." Maria shrugged.

"That means he wants to sleep with you." Mike told her.

"He already has." The redhead replied.

"What?" Mike's eyes widened.

"It's true." Evan shrugged.

"And it was amazing!" Maria smiled.

"I might be a nerd, but I'm not a virgin." Evan smirked at Mike.

"I don't think you're a nerd." Maria told her boyfriend.

"My brother does." Evan replied.

"Dude, I am not your brother." Mike managed to say.

"Next week you will be." Evan reminded him.

"That wedding cannot happen!" Mike groaned.

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**Will the wedding happen?**  
**Will Mike do anything to stop it? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's a new chapter of He's Not My Brother!**  
**Thanks to all those who read, reviewed, etc.**

**I do not own anyone, unfortunately.**

**Many thanks go to Diagura for much needed advice and inspiration. xxx **

Evan and Mike walked downstairs together following an unexpected wake up call from Mike's mother at the break of dawn. They made their way to the kitchen and took their seats at the breakfast table. Joseph was already sitting there rubbing his eyes and yawning. Barbara placed a bowl in front of each of them and grabbed a pan from the hob. She proceeded to empty out some strange looking sludge into the bowls.

"What is this?" Mike asked his mother.

"Porridge." She replied.

"Um, I usually have pancakes…" Mike pointed out.

"Yeah, I would prefer some toast." Evan nodded.

"And I would love some bacon and eggs." Joseph added.

"The wedding is less than a week away. We need to diet." Barbara told them.

"I don't need to diet." Evan frowned.

"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Joseph asked his fiancé.

"No, I don't think I'm overreacting. I think if I'm getting married it should be perfect." Barbara replied.

"If it's the photo's you're worried about, we can always get Mike to stand at the back." Evan suggested.

"Oh right, cause I'll need a diet?" Mike asked.

"You might. If your man breasts get any bigger you'll need a bigger bra than your mom." Evan shot back.

"Firstly, these are my pecs. Secondly, you shouldn't even be looking at my mother's breasts. Pervert." Mike frowned.

"Boys, please be nice to each other." Barbara pleaded.

"He started it." Mike pouted.

"This diet thing's just for one day, right?" Joseph asked his fiancé.

"Three days." She corrected him.

"Are you serious?" Mike asked his mother.

"I want us all to look good for the wedding photos." Barbara shrugged.

"Does the photographer have a wide lens?" Evan asked.

"Why?" Joseph frowned at his son.

"They'll need it to get Mike in the photo." Evan grinned.

"At least my head will be in the picture. You're going to need a stepladder." Mike shot back.

"I need to know that you'll fit into your suits." Barbara fretted.

"Honey, why don't we just try them on now?" Joseph asked her.

"You might jinx the whole thing!" she replied.

The three males sighed and stared at their porridge.

They had all been hoping that dinner would be better, but unfortunately not. Barbara served them all salad with no dressing. They were also allowed one slice of bread, but nothing on it. All three ate the meal, mainly because they wanted to keep Barbara calm, but also because they were hungry after eating a small amount of porridge earlier on for breakfast.

"That was nice." Joseph forced a smile.

"Yeah, delicious." Mike added.

"Good. I knew you'd come around to the idea." Barbara smiled at them.

"I guess I want you to be happy mom." Mike shrugged.

"I know you do. You might feel the same when it's your own wedding." She told him.

"I'm not gonna get married." Mike frowned.

"Of course you are. Some states support gay marriage." Evan replied sarcastically.

"Some also support the death penalty." Mike glared at his future stepbrother.

"Anger comes from repressed feelings." Evan frowned.

"I'll repress your oxygen if you don't shut up." Mike told him.

Barbara was very pleased with herself. She had made a healthy dinner for her three favourite guys. It was a healthy vegetable stew, which didn't look all that appetising. It was bright green and strong smelling from various spices that were supposed to help detoxify the system. Joseph was the first one to make an excuse.

"Oh no. I just remembered that I have to do something…for the wedding, It's a surprise." He added.

"Oh, well I guess you'd better go." Barbara pouted.

"Man, I'm going to miss Maria's performance in the talent show." Evan sighed.

"You might still make it." Barbara shrugged.

"Thanks mom." Evan grinned and rushed out of the house.

"She's not your mom!" Mike yelled after him.

"Just you and me then Mike." Barbara smiled at her son.

He smiled back at her and went to taste some of the odd looking mixture. It wasn't all that bad, just very strong and a little bit sickly. Barbara pulled a face and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. Mike did the same, coughing a little at the amount of seasoning that had gone in there. His mother looked across at him and shrugged.

"I know, that is awful." She shrugged.

"At least you tried." Mike shrugged.

"You and me should go get some takeout. What do you say?" Barbara grinned at her son.

"Sounds good." Mike nodded.

They walked into a nearby steakhouse and Barbara went to order.

"Table five's order is done." The girl behind the counter yelled to a colleague.

"I got it." The young guy replied as he struggled with two huge steaks, large glasses of Pepsi and two bowls full of potato wedges with extra sauce.

"Wonder who's gonna eat all that." Barbara frowned.

"Let's watch. They're probably like five hundred pounds!" Mike smirked.

"Joey?" Barbara gasped as the young guy placed down the order at the table.

"Evan!" Mike gasped.

The father and son sat sheepishly in front of their huge meal and shrugged.

"Care to join us?" Joseph asked them.

Mike and his mother looked at each other for a moment.

"Ok, sure." They nodded and sat down at the table.

**What do you think?**

**I think it was poor. I just wanted to update but I was lacking in inspiration.**

**Any chance of reviews? xxx**


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